Saturday, 28 April 2012

a big scary shocking dream

        A big scary shocking dream
All I could see were dry, Rocky Mountains on both sides of a never ending road! The lack of trey tracks on the muddy path indicated that it had had no recent travellers. I realized by then that I had in fact lost my way to the resort. I was sure my friends were wondering where I was and were trying to reach me on my phone which unfortunately no signal in the deserted place!  The rumbling noises of the car engine was beginning yo give me a headache.

“UFF! I am driving from 3 hours and still I can’t find my way to the resort”. Suddenly a bluish light flash came on my face and one terrific person came with a round shape body. He has four eyes {two in front and two back}, one mouth and was wearing a black pant. I was scared and my body was shivering. I asked “who are you “.  King of the desert answered the monster “what king”  . “Yes, I am the water man and I help everyone who lost the ways.

I was whispering and saying, can you help me, I am lost my way. Suddenly an angel came and takes me and threw me in a river.
I was shocked and suddenly a voice came chocolate! Chocolate!. And I fell down and said ouch help me ,help me and my mom came and wake me up then I realized that it is a bad dream.

                “A big scary dream”  


  1. Edit your work based on the feedback given

  2. * The 'person' well described
    * 'round shaped'
    * 'He had four eyes..'
    * 'Who are you?'
    * Check the inverted commas while using direct speech
    * Well ended

    Very creatively written Muskan - I can see that your reading is having a very positive influyence on your writing. :)